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          我們都是媽的骨肉

          推薦人:匿名 來源: 網絡轉載 時間: 2018-03-02 03:18
          我們都是媽的骨肉
          1、家里多了個英子姐

            媽把英子姐領來我家的時候,我5歲,她8歲,她剛剛上小學一年級,我還是個頑劣兒童。她穿著花布棉襖,個頭比我高很多,我卻生生地躲在媽的后面打量著她,我不知道媽為什么一定要領養一個和我們沒有血緣關系的英子姐。

            媽說:“快喊英子姐。”我張吧著嘴,什么都沒有喊出來。她喊我“冬兒”,我并不回她。我心里暗想,她來家里,是多了張和我們搶飯吃的嘴,讓我們忍饑挨餓的日子與日俱增吧。

            那會,我爸是村會計,分田到戶后,家里就靠兩畝薄地和我爸的“誤工費”維生,日子還在溫飽線上掙扎。每年青黃不接的時候,還靠母親上山挖蕨根和野菜充饑。

            然而這樣的日子因為母親的勤勞居然也過得有滋有味,屋里常常充滿了歡聲笑語。自從英子姐來了后,原本屬于我獨享的小幸福不得不分給了她一些,讓我經常嘟噥著小嘴,沉著臉。爸媽卻好像對我的不滿視若無睹,還一個勁地挑些好吃的給她,夸她學習成績好。我很不屑,心想,8歲才讀一年級,有什么好驕傲的!

            即便是這樣的苦日子,也沒有得到上蒼的眷顧和憐憫。1985年春末,爸去村林場量木頭,回來時,渡河的竹筏翻了個身,爸便跌入湍急的河水里,再也沒有上來。待兩天后,村民找到爸,已經是和我們陰陽兩相隔了。于是,那天開始,媽和我還有英子姐開始更艱難的生活。我還在心里固執地認為英子姐是爸的克星,克死了爸。

            因為,媽一個人照顧不了兩個嗷嗷待哺的孩子,一年后,媽便在好心媒婆的撮合下遠嫁到另一個邊遠的山溝溝去了。繼父家也窮,不過他有一身蠻力,用來耕作土地的蠻力。繼父好不容易和媽成了婚,卻不料媽沒有了生育,讓繼父惱羞成怒又無可奈何。只能每天沖著我和英子姐打打罵罵,撒撒他作為長輩的威風。

            媽很疼我和英子姐,但她只能在心里默默地疼愛我們,因為我們都靠繼父家里的口糧來維持生活,才不至于餓死。媽還很忙,從早到晚總有忙不完的活計,于是把我和英子姐送到離家二十多里地的村小學去讀寄宿。在學校,所有人都知道我和英子姐是繼父的“拖油瓶”(不是親生的意思),經常被人嘲笑,還被大點的孩子欺辱。剛開始,我一直忍著,可后來我忍無可忍,便和人拼命。每次英子姐都跑來幫我,當然,她也只有替我挨打的份,每次傷得比我多,但我不愿領她的情。

            家和學校之間有一片野墳,就在高低雜亂的野草和野樹之間。有時候還冷不丁爬出一條蛇躺在路中間。媽不放心,總叮囑英子姐多照顧我一些。我害怕又不愿和英子姐走在一起,所以她只能跟著我身后,把我放在她的視線之內。

            2、她把我當成親弟弟

            那年秋天開學,我收拾好行囊,媽要我等等英子姐,好結伴而行,我一賭氣,撒腿就往學校跑。媽不放心,便出門追我,后面追來的還有英子姐。因為剛下過雨,山路濕滑,媽一個倒栽蔥便從兩米多高的田埂上摔了下去。我聽到媽慘叫聲,回頭一看,頓時傻了眼,不知所措。跑在最后的英子姐,猛地跑到媽旁,把媽扶到背上,向鄉衛生院狂奔。

            我跟在她們身后,看著從媽腳踝處落下的血,嚇得嚎啕大哭。

            半小時后,媽被趕來的村民手忙腳亂地抬到了鄉衛生院,檢查后,媽的腳踝摔成了粉碎性骨折。媽在鄉衛生院住了十天半月也不見好,后來轉院到縣醫院才治好。媽腳踝處的骨質增生便是那一次落下來的,每到春天便鉆心地痛,膏藥貼了一張又一張都不管用。后來,這件事讓我內疚到現在,一看到媽疼痛的樣子,我都陪媽一塊落淚。

            那一次后,我便不再拒絕和英子姐結伴上學。但那一次媽住院花光了家里所有的積蓄還借了一大筆錢。家里還少了勞力,繼父便讓英子姐輟學了。那些日子,媽和繼父天天吵架,媽想要借錢供英子姐讀到初中畢業,但繼父死活不肯。不過英子姐也主動要求輟學,她說,只要家里能讓冬兒我讀更多的書就行。

            當我愿意和英子姐結伴上學的時候,卻不再有這樣的機會,我心里突然感覺少了些什么,也有一種隱痛在胸口作梗,無語言表。

            然而,事實上打那以后,繼父便再也沒有拿出一分錢供我讀書。我的一切開銷都來源于英子姐和媽到集市上賣菜換來的錢。當我考上地區一所工程大學的時候,我以為6000元的高昂學費會把我最終阻攔在大學門外。但我想錯了,從我拿到通知書那天開始,英子姐就隨村里那些大點的女孩子去了東莞,她只告訴我,一定要好好讀書,她一定會供我如愿完成大學學業。

            英子姐離開家的那一天,我送她到鄉汽車站,當中巴車遠去的時候,想起她這些年為我吃過的苦,我淚如潮涌,我追著車跑出好遠好遠,還大聲的喊著“英子姐”,雖然我不知道她是否聽到了,但那時我所有的恨都消融了,還有陣陣愛在涌動。

            3、我們都是媽的骨肉

            1996秋,我如愿上了大學。

            雖然我把家里帶來的兩件舊棉衣都穿在身上,但這個冬天格外地冷,小雪下了一場又一場,讓我依然從頭冷到了腳。而捉襟見肘的口袋里,我無法湊齊一件普通棉衣的錢。

            有一天,我瑟瑟發抖地坐在教室的角落里,門口有人大聲喊我,要我去傳達室拿包裹。打開包裹,里面裝著一件亮色的棉衣和一雙我夢寐以求的球鞋。摸著那溫暖的棉衣,我是高興又感動。同學說,那件棉衣在商場賣3、4百呢,說得我心里暖融融的,那件棉衣就溫暖了我整整幾個個冬天。

            待我放寒假回家我才知道,英子姐為了買這件棉衣和多郵寄些錢給我,連過年的路費都沒有留給自己。她那年獨自在東莞過了一個春節,這也是她第一次漂泊在外過年。

            我大學畢業后,分配到縣社保局,英子姐和一個同鄉的男人結了婚,生兒育女,過上了普通的農家生活。

            2002年,繼父過世了,媽的身體也每況愈下,我特意請了幾天假去接媽和我同住。但媽就是不肯,她說過不慣城里人的生活,不能隨意串門,待在家又太悶了。

            兩天后,媽住到英子姐家。我匆匆趕來,說,英子姐苦了一輩子,不能再讓我媽拖累了,再說了,我是媽的親生兒子,照顧媽是我的義不容辭的責任。媽擺擺手,說了一個我們從不知道的秘密,事實上,我和英子姐都是媽的親生骨肉,只是媽當年不懂什么是愛,稀里糊涂生下了英子姐,英子姐的爸卻在英子姐二十天大時,把英子姐送人了,然后跟另一個女人進了城,再無消息。直到英子姐8歲,她的養父母有了他們的親生骨肉才找到媽,把她還給媽。把英子姐接到家以后,媽卻再也不讓人提起那段傷心的往事,也從未和任何人說起。可是傳統思想的媽心眼里重男輕女,并在饑寒交迫的日子里,一直引導英子姐以年長幾歲的事實來呵護我,照顧我。
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