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          清明雨,我的淚

          推薦人: 來源: 美文閱讀網 時間: 2018-06-02 23:38
            烏啼鵲噪昏喬木,清明寒食誰家苦。風吹曠野紙錢飛,古墓壘壘春草綠。天空中綿綿的細雨,黯然的氣氛,莫名憂傷的心,似乎在不約而同的傳遞者著一個清冷的信息;清明到了。

            其實,自從父親去世,我對清明節是很敏感的,敏感到聽到心會絲絲的疼,就像聽到父親這兩個字一樣。不知是想念父親太重還是我太固執,一年多了,我至今都還不愿意相信父親走了。但又從我每次回到家的落寞中,從與媽媽通電話時媽媽那無言的思念中,我又確信我的父親真的走了,他永遠的離開了我們。不管我們如何的想念,如何的呼喚,他都不會再回來了。

            樹欲靜而風不止,子欲養而親不待。父親,我親愛的父親,雖然現在我有了富足的生活,但我現在已沒有了孝敬您的機會。我恨自己,恨自己沒能在您活著的時候給您足夠的愛,恨自己沒在您想念女兒時及時的回去看您,哪怕能陪您待上三兩天,我想您也會很開心,很滿足的。

            最近一段時間,我總會不間斷的想起您。恍惚的夢里,看見您像我走來,您還是老樣子,戴著深藍色的老式的帽子,深藍色的中山裝,黑色的褲子,黑色的布鞋。我驚喜的喊,爸,突然,您不見了,我瘋狂的四處尋找,抽噎著從夢里醒來,望著天花板,再也無心睡眠。寂靜的夜,往事歷歷在目浮現在眼前,我不禁潸然淚下,思緒萬千……懷念您在田間忙碌的身影,懷念您親切和藹的笑容;忘不了在南京看病時,您站在病房的窗前望著外面的那一聲長嘆,忘不了您和媽因為想我半夜還打來電話,您說白天怕影響了我工作,放下電話,我已泣不成聲。我更忘不了您和媽媽對我說,四個孩子當中最對不起的就是我,說那時讓我退學也是沒辦法,聽您說這些,我不知道自己當時是委屈還是什么,竟然像個孩子一樣的哭起來。誰言寸草心,報得三春暉。雖然您讓我退學我不甘心,但我也從心里理解您,理解您和媽媽。為了我們姐弟四個,您和媽操碎了心,起早貪黑,辛勞奔波。雖然日子不算富裕,但你們卻給了我無私的愛和溫馨百倍的家。

            自從您走以后,我都不愿意和別人談論您,更不想聽到爸爸這兩個字,因為我怕它會觸動我心底里的痛。捧著您的照片,我有好多好多的話要給你說,說我的工作,我的家庭,還有這一年多來你不在的日子里所發生的一切一切,可是,爸爸您能聽到嗎?

            又是清明到,紛紛雨花落。可知道,這綿綿的細雨是我想念親人的淚滴,這絲絲的涼風是我訴與親人的心語,這漫山遍野的花草則是我對天堂里親人的祝愿和祈禱……

            作者:淡然若水
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