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          每一滴都是心痛的淚,每一聲都是心酸的回憶

          推薦人: 來源: 美文閱讀網 時間: 2018-05-24 23:43
            淋漓的筆墨,敘說著一段美好的情緣;再次的遇見,一切竟是那么的難以想象……飽滿的情感,流暢的運筆;靜靜賞讀,細膩又不失大氣,醇香亦不乏溫潤。

            夜,如期而至。與昨夜不同的是,它是攜著雨聲姍姍而來的。

            當多情的雨滴珠圓玉潤地在窗外的芭蕉葉上滴瀝的時候,我正慵懶地斜臥在榻上,想著傍晚下班乘公交車時那讓我尷尬而又揪心的一幕,繼而在腦海里小心翼翼地翻閱著被雨水濡濕的陳年往事。這玲瓏的滴瀝聲渾似一場曖昧的酣夢讓人眷戀、讓人失落。枕著曼妙的雨聲,嗅著窗外草坪上飄逸過來的草的芳香,我又仿佛看到了你在那頂紅色的傘下如花的笑靨、澄澈的眸子、茸茸的睫毛……

            猶記得青澀的年月里,我們在新雨過后,共撐一把傘相攜在校園的大道上。那時候,滿地都是濕漉漉的梧桐的黃葉。你說你無端地喜歡這黃葉,你還說這葉傾其一生的艱難苦辛完成了她飽蘸蔥綠的使命。如今枯黃了,也累了,需要安靜地躺在地上美美地睡上一覺,她這個時候是最需要雨滴的滋潤、雨聲的撫慰的。當你說這話的時候我正望著你那雙澄澈的眸子一臉動容。我說,當有一天你如同這葉一般枯黃、需要滋潤與撫慰的時候,我愿意把自己幻化成雨。

            相戀的兩年里,只要逢著雨后的傍晚,我們都會到那條熟悉的大道上漫步,然后一邊沐浴著雨后的清新空靈,一邊探討著寫作課上的心得。當我問起你為什么取“雨花”為筆名的時候,你微笑著說你出生在有雨的早晨,又喜歡雨。你還說更重要的是“雨花”具有“羽化”的飄逸和悠然。

            那時候,是文學讓我們走到了一起,但我不否認是你讓我喜歡上了雨。

            在精神上,你是豐盈的,然而在物質上,你卻是清貧的。你總是一身素淡,不卑不亢,淡然與豁達地面對著生活,我們也在平靜中快樂地廝守著,然而隨著你父親的意外亡故,沒多久你就不得不輟學回家了。母親的多病,兩個弟弟的上學支出,家里地里的瑣碎,把你折磨地疲憊不堪。那個年月,我們不間斷地寫信。你說家中的境遇讓你心中的夢更為杳然,你想對心底那斑斕的夢說放棄。我急切地鼓勵你堅強地面對生活,與命運抗爭,用手中的筆實現自己的夢。然而,你終究沒能抵制住艱難與疲憊的煎熬。

            后來,一封溢滿血淚的信被我的雙手顫巍巍地抖動著:請原諒我親愛的,上星期我結婚了。對象是鄰村的一個村長的兒子。遲遲未能告訴你,怕你傷心。忘記我吧,如果有來生,我們一定在一起。看完,我一時淚眼模糊,如鯁在喉。直到后來我才知道是母親的多病,家境的不濟,迫使你答應了母親在近處尋了人家,好照顧家、照顧弟弟們。看著信紙上那被淚水濡濕的字跡,我越發揪心的疼痛。這種難以名狀的揪心卻又在二十年后的今天再次發作。

            回想起飄雨的傍晚,你一手攙扶著病羸的丈夫,一手拿著氧氣袋,后面還跟著兩個半大的孩子上車后,不住地朝車廂里張望是否有空余的座位。陌生的人群遮擋不住你焦灼的眼神。當無意中與你那楚楚的眼神碰撞時,我吃了一驚。二十年歲月的煙云沒有遮蔽我的眼睛,二十年的風雨變幻,還是讓我一眼就認出了你。令我揪心的是:二十年的風霜竟把你折磨得這般老態!四十二三的年歲,兩鬢卻掛滿了霜花。眼前的你竟如同一枚枯瘦的黃葉一般讓人心生憐愛。我起身把座位讓給了你的丈夫,而你卻朝我機械地道了聲謝謝。在這擁擠的車廂里,你尷尬地望著我,我尷尬地望著你。你不住地為咳嗽的丈夫捶背,而揪心的疼痛迫使我把目光轉移到車窗外。這真是怕相見又盼相見,相見又不能相認,這其中的滋味自不待言。

            顛簸在擁擠的車廂里,我的耳畔死一般沉寂。這世界上,我原本是不相信什么宿命與因緣的,但是今天傍晚的不經意邂逅,迫使我對宿命與因緣多了幾分畏懼與虔誠。到今天我才恍然發覺,這二十年來我一直徘徊、困頓在被宿命和因緣共同謀下的套子里。今天這一幕更不得不讓我感慨萬分。我用兩眼的余光小心翼翼地打量著你、你的丈夫、你的孩子們,直至你們下車后,我才敢把眼中壓抑許久的淚水放逐。

            萬不料二十年后,你我竟這般重逢,著實讓人哭笑不得!

            雷聲隱隱地響起,窗外的雨仍舊無休止地滴瀝著,每一滴都是心痛的淚,每一聲都是心酸的回憶。

            迷蒙的淚眼中,回想起擁擠的車廂中你那頹唐的臉顏,我想到了那枚枯瘦的、孤零零的、等待細雨撫慰的黃葉……
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